Alphabet Stories: Firefly
by Serenity Marie
Summary: Little bits of life on Serenity. Takes place before AND after movie. One for each letter of the alphabet. Pairings: M/I, Z/W, S/K, R/J and some without any pairing at all. !- UPDATED & Chapter 1 rewritten entirely -!
1. A is for

Title: Alphabet Stories: Firefly

Rating: T for some sexual humor and strong language.

Summary: Flashes of life on Serenity. Taking place before and after movie. One for each letter of the alphabet. Pairings: Mal/Inara, Zoe/Wash, Simon/Kaylee, River/Jayne and some non-pairing random ones!

A/N: Basically the idea of this is for each letter of the alphabet a small Firefly/Serenity drabble. I made Alphabet soup for the kids I was babysitting, and I started making up stories for each letter, and they made me keep doing it. That led to this.

A is for Addicted

Zoe/Wash

Pre-Serenity

It was the smell of her hair. The way she started out on her side of the bed, and ended up on top of him the second she fell asleep. How she twisted her ring and smiled when no one was looking, and the way her playful slaps stung. How she'd act tough, but the second the others had walked away, she let him hold her tight.

It was something he needed at the beginning and end of each day. He didn't know what to do with himself when it wasn't there.

Sometimes he imagines himself in one of those meetings that they run on every outer-rim planet, for all those things you just can't seem to give up.

"My name is Wash, and I am addicted to my wife…"

Not that he ever wanted to give her up.

* * *

This is a rewrite of a sort- basically I just replaced the original story (A is for Always) with this one. Theoretically, I intend to post it (and any others that I replace along the way) at the very end, if I ever get to Z. I may forget. Or never get to z.


	2. B is for

Title: Alphabet Stories: Firefly

Rating: T for some sexual humor and strong language.

Summary: Flashes of life on Serenity. Taking place before and after movie. One for each letter of the alphabet. Pairings: MI, ZW, SK, RJ and some non-pairing random ones!

* * *

B is for… Beauty  
(Mal/Inara. Any time period)

* * *

"Cap'tn," Kaylee said, entering the control room of Serenity and settling herself in the seat across from Mal. "wouldn't you say 'Nara is pretty?"

"I'd say she's a very refined woman…" Mal said cautiously, the look in Kaylee's eyes didn't bode well for him.

"You would say she is pretty though, right?"

"She's a very elegant woman."

"No, no! That's not what I mean" Kaylee sighed in frustration, "Do you find her attractive?"

He narrowed his eyes, "Why?"

"Why what?" Kaylee's eyes widened and she looked perfectly innocent. One thing Mal'd learned early—when Kaylee tried to look innocent, she surely wasn't.

"Why are you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong?"

Recognizing Mal's attempts to turn the tables on her, she decided the prudent action was retreat. She stood up, sending him a ferocious glare, "Gorram it! I was just curious!" She did her best fake-anger stomp out. Mal shook his head at her strange reaction. At least she left.

He stared out into the empty space that was…space, thinking about his and Kaylee's conversation.

"Inara isn't pretty." He said quietly, to himself, "She is a piece of beauty."

"YES!!!" Mal whirled around in his seat to see Kaylee standing just outside the door with a video capturer. Upon meeting his eyes, she launched herself in a run down the corridor…towards Inara's shuttle

"Shit!" And Mal was off, in a vain attempt to prevent Inara from EVER seeing that recording.


	3. C is for

Title: Alphabet Stories: Firefly

Rating: T for some sexual humor and strong language.

Summary: Flashes of life on Serenity. Taking place before and after movie. One for each letter of the alphabet. Pairings: MI, ZW, SK, RJ and some non-pairing random ones!

C is for Cactus

(No pairing—no particular time period)

-- -- --

Jayne had been sittin' at the table, mindin' his own business when the crazy girl walked right up to him. He glanced at her hands, to reassure himself that she wasn't holding a knife this time.

"Watcha want, girl?" He asked in a gruff tone. Even when she wasn't armed, Jayne still found the girl's presence alarmin', a fact he'd never admit to

"Cactus." She said, with a tilt of her head, and then flipped him the bird. She pranced outta the room before he had a chance to recover from his shock. He certainly hadn't expected that.

Later that day, Jayne made a point to hunt down the doctor.

"Your sist'a did something very strange today."

"She didn't manage to hurt you again, did she?" Simon asked, and Jayne couldn't help but think he heard a little hope in the doctor's voice.

"No." He said with a glare. The doctor seemed to deflate a bit.

"Oh, so what did she do?"

Jayne flipped him off, "What's that mean?"

Simon smothered a chocking laugh, but was unable to hide the grin on his face, "If you don't know what that means, you're stupider than I thought."

"I Gorram **know** that. What I don't know is why your sister said 'Cactus' when she did it."

This time Simon couldn't hold back the laugh. Which, of course, made Jayne mad.

"Look Doc—" Simon interrupted him.

"Do you know what sign language is?"

"Of course I do, I ain't stupid."

"Well, in sign language-" he made the motion with his finger"-means 'cactus'"

"This?" he asked, flipping Simon off.

"No, you have to keep your thumb out," he demonstrated. Jayne nodded, and wandered out of the room.

Simon shook his head with a chuckle. Moments like these reminded him of when they were young children and River would always stir up trouble to see how everyone would react to it.

"Doctor?" Book poked his head around the corner, "Earlier you sister came up to me and did the most alarming thing—"

Simon also remembered how his sister's mess always seemed to land on his shoulders.

* * *

Yes, the sign for cactus is basically giving somebody the finger, but with your thumb sticking out.


	4. D is for

Title: Alphabet Stories: Firefly

Rating: T for some sexual humor and strong language.

D is for…. Dirty thoughts

(Any time. Jayne/River—ish)

River plopped herself down next to where Jayne was cleaning his guns. He glanced up as she unwrapped a cherry sucker. She stuck her tongue out, and started to lick it, showing as much dedication as a young child would.

Jayne watched, his eyes going wide and his mouth falling open as she swirled the candy around her mouth and closed her eyes in enjoyment.

She pulled the sucker out of her mouth with an audible 'pop' and then looked up at Jayne.

She looked into his eyes and wrinkled up her nose, "Eww. Dirty thoughts!"

Jayne glanced down, and then pushed away from the table quickly mumbling, "I'll be in my bunk."

-


	5. E is for

E is for…Etiquette

(post Serenity Kaylee/Simon established.)

* * *

Simon Tam grew up in a very old fashioned home. His father was a business man, while his mother stayed home and cooked, cleaned and looked after the children. They went to fancy parties and learned proper etiquette, something that even the 'verse hadn't completely cured him of. This etiquette led him to firmly believe, if you were stupid enough to get a girl pregnant before marriage, you have to marry her.

…And that was what got him into this particular problem.

Maybe it had been a bad idea to break the news of his sweetheart that she was pregnant by telling her that they had to marry.

…another mistake may have been that when said sweetheart asked if he actually wanted to marry her or if he was doing it out of responsibility he said, "Either way we have to get married, right?"

One thing the 'verse did manage to teach him though was; if a crazy pregnant lady comes at you with a random metal thing, it is always a good idea to run and hide. This running and hiding led to his current predicament, hiding in an empty storage container in the cargo bay.

"Simon?" He could hear Kaylee's voice outside of the storage container, "Where are you? I just want to talk." He thought about coming out, hearing an almost reasonable note in Kaylee's voice until he heard even father off in the distances Jayne's voice.

"Gorram it! Who took my Vera!?!"

He blamed etiquette.


	6. F is for

F is for...family  
(No pairing..post Serenity..?)

"_It's a fool don't know that his family's his crew" – __**Mal's song**__ by Michelle Dockrey_

They are a family. Maybe not in the most traditional sense, none of them were related by any biological means….and that was probably a good thing by the way Kaylee and Simon were going at it. If they had been biologically related it would be a whole new cup of strange. Nah, but they were a family in all the ways that counted. They could rely on each other and that was what was important.

In the wide 'verse when you are floating along like they were, going wherever they can get a job you don't see you mama or papa or any siblings often. Unless you stick them in a cooled storage bin and dragged them along with you, that is.

So your family is your crew and your crew is your family. In a way Book is the grandfather, guiding with his wisdom and knowledge. Mal is a bit like the father, he looked out for his family rescuing them from crazy back woods folk before they got burned at he stake and such. Then Inara is the mother, a patient ear and a comforting hand. And always a good place to turn to when you needed advice on matters of the bed.

Jayne is like the insane older brother. No one is completely sure what he is going to do next, but at the end of the day you know he'll regret trying to turn you over to the feds. Zoe is the next child on the list, a tomboy, followed by Wash who is the goofy brother. Then comes Simon, the nerdy child, good at saying the wrong thing and embarrassing himself. Then there is River, the kid who is smarter than the nerd, the child prodigy. Following close behind, Kaylee, the innocent little sister of the family. The one everyone loved to look after and cared for, everybody's favorite.

Mal was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of arguing in the corridor. Yup, they were a family, but he almost wished they weren't; they always had to come to him to complain about each other.


	7. G is for

* * *

**G is for Gorram**

**Maybe a little Mal/Inara? No Time period.**

* * *

"Gorram it, Mal! I was just looking for some lovin'"

"Do that on your own gorram time, not in the middle of a job."

I rubbed the area between my eyes as a headache began to form. Isn't there anywhere else they could argue? Not to sound winy, but I _was_ here first.

"But Mal…"

"Quiet!" I finally snapped, slamming the poor book I had been attempting to read on the table.

Jayne and Mal turned to look at me, Mal's eyebrow rose.

"Something wrong 'Nara?"

"Maybe she's the one needing some lovin'" Jayne muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear. Mal gave him a look.

I brought up my book to at least pretend to read, easy to ignore the idiots that way.

"Who needs lovin'?" Kaylee hoped down the steps into the Mess.

"'Nara"

I peered over the top of my book to see Jayne balanced the chair he was occupying on the back two legs like a teenage boy. I fought the urge to walk over and push him over—of course, that would just be juvenile

"Inara doesn't need any lovin'" Kaylee headed towards the kitchen. "Shes got Captin' for that. Anyone know if we have any beans left?"

It was silent for a moment, before Jayne choose to ruin it.

"You've been sexin' Inara?"

"N-no way. Never. Ever"

"Aw, Captin', that's not very nice." Kaylee sat plopped in the chair next to him with her can of beans.

"I didn't mean it like that!"

"So, you're saying you want to be sexin' 'Nara? Or that you don't want to be sexin' 'Nara?" Jayne said it slowly, like he was confused. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. He probably was.

"No-I. Inara's a very beautiful women" He paused for a second, probably trying to come up with something more to say. I don't think they even remembered I was in here anymore.

"HE LIKES HER!" Kaylee squealed. Loudly. At a high pitch.

That's. It.

"SHUT THE GORRAM UP!"

They stared at me.

"What does gorram actually mean?" River asked from the doorway.

* * *


	8. H is for

**H is for Hunted**

This is a bit of a continuation on chapter 5 "E is for..." You can read it separately if you wish.

Pairings: established Simon/Kaylee and a little Inara/Mal friendship. before or after BDM

* * *

Inara was sitting down for a nice, peaceful cup of tea, when Malcolm Reynolds came flying into her shuttle and dove under her bed.

Pressing her lips together, she slowly set the tea cup down.

"Mal? Do you need something?"

"shhh" the bed hissed. She rolled her eyes, and walked over to the bed to lift up the skirt.

"Why exactly are you hiding underneath my bed?"

"I'm being hunted." whispered, and he yanked the skirt back down. Inara's eyebrow rose.

"Inara!"

Inara turned towards the door, "Mei Mei, come in. Why do you look so upset?"

The obviously pregnant Kaylee sighed, "Cap'tn's being a meanie. Told me I looked fat, an' when Simon went to"- she made air quotes "'avenge my honor' Cap'tn just locked him in the infirmary."

"Mal called you fat?" Inara sat down hard on the bed, ignoring grunt from underneath her. He deserved it.

"Yea, well that's not that bad," Kaylee joined her on the bed, "It's just, Simon. He tries real hard to be manly, but Mal just mocks him. It ain't right."

"So let me get this strait, Mal called you fat so Simon tried to defend you," Kaylee nodded, "and Mal just mocked him so now you are trying to defend him?" Kaylee nodded again.

"Well, you shouldn't be running all around the ship in your condition, Kaylee. Hows about you just go and wait in the Mess. He has to eat sometime."

"That's a great idea!" Kaylee grinned, and pulled herself off the bed and out the door.

"Thanks a lot" her bed hissed.

"I didn't tell her you were there."

"But now I can't eat ever again."

"Shoulda thought of that before you called a pregnant women fat."

He was silent a few minutes.

"Could you please get off, already?"

"Nope."

* * *


	9. I is for

I is for.... Itchy

No real time period-- a tiny, tiny Serenity spoiler. I doubt most of you will even be able to find it.

No pairings.

* * *

River walked into the cockpit and stopped, and took a step back.

"What's wrong, little albatross?" Mal asked, from the captain's chair.

"Itchy" River said, as she hastily exited the room. Mal absently scratched at his arm, paying no heed to her. It made life so much more excitin', waiting until her comments made sense.

And they almost always did, at some point along the line.

A few more minutes passed, and his other arm started in on it, itching like crazy.

"What in the gorram…"

"Mal!" Simon came into the cockpit, Kaylee in tow.

"Doc?" he asked, trying to reach the itchy spots on his back.

"You have it, too."

"Have what, doc?" He was starting to feel a bit alarmed.

Simon pulled up Kaylee's sleeve. Her arms had alarming red dots on it.

Kaylee made a face, "They're itchy, Cap'tn"

"What the hell are they?" Jayne asked, as he joined the party, scratching at red dots around his neck.

"Well, my best guess would be a virus of some sort—"

"Chicken Pox." River stood at the door, in an environmental suit. "You guys got the chicken pox."

* * *

Not my best. Maybe my next will be better if more people review... -hint hint, nudge nudge-

Seriously though. The more reviews I get, the more likely I won't completely forget about this story for another month...just sayin'

-Serenity Marie


	10. J is for

J is for…Joke

No time period, but Kaylee and Simon are together

Pairing: Kaylee/Simon

Rating: K

* * *

One of these days, she mused, he was going to learn. Really, it was rather shocking how often this happened. Unfortunately, River had been sitting on the floor right down the hall from Simon and Kaylee's room when the argument started. She could hear every word.

"That's not what I meant!" Simon wailed.

"Then what, exactly, did you mean?" Kaylee asked in a dangerous tone. River almost had shivers.

"It was a joke! Just a joke! You're usually a very pretty woman-"

"Usually?"

"No! I mean…I love you, so it doesn't matter if you look bad-- wait, that's not what I meant!"

"Bao bei?"

"Uhm, yes?"

"Shut up." Kaylee stomped away from their shared room, and towards the engine room. A few minutes later Simon hesitantly stepped out.

He walked over, and slid down the wall to sit next to her.

"Mei-mei?"

"Yeah?"

"Go ahead and say it."

"You're such a boob"

"I know." he rubbed his face. "It was just a joke…"

* * *

Bao Bei means Sweetheart

Mei-Mei means sister

Of course, I found that on fan site. I don't actually speak Chinese...so I'm sorry if I'm wrong.

Oh! And please review. I know, I know... sometimes you just don't want to bother, but I really want your opinion. I also really want to know people are reading...also, its great motivation to write more (wink wink, nudge nudge).

-Serenity Marie


	11. K is for

K is for…Kids

Time period: After Serenity

Pairing: Mal/Inara

Rating: K+

* * *

"…..kids? Really?" Inara asked, surprised.

"You don't think I'd be good with kids?" He asked, sounding offended.

They sat across from each other in the dinning room. Inara was curled up in the chair with a blanket wrapped around her, sipping tea, and Mal was fiddling with a fork

They had been doing this for awhile, sitting up late and chatting. Ever since Miranda. Sometimes it was teasing, other nights they would lament over the past. And some nights, like tonight, they would really talk. Not about the past, but the future.

"It's not that I think you would be bad with kids, Mal. It's just…"

"This doesn't seem like the lifestyle to have kids?"

She nodded, "You love this life so much. Being able to be the captain of a ship and making your own rules in life."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Inara broke the silence again,

"I think you would be a great father, Mal" She stood up, and walked over to the sink to set her mug down, "Now you just need to find a woman willing to have you."

"Why Inara, Are you offering?" He asked with a sly smile.

Inara rolled her eyes and headed towards the door, "Goodnight, Mal,"

"Wait, when are we going to be making those kids?"

"Kids?" Jayne asked walking in as Inara left , "We don't need no gorram kids on this boat. This is a spaceship, not a rutting nursery."

Mal stood up, and headed out the door. "'Night, Jayne"

"Wait? What are you talking about gorram kids? There won't be any gorram kids on this boat, right? Mal? MAL!"

* * *

So I wasn't so sure about posting this chapter here because it came out a bit more serious than I was going for. I do really like how it came out, so I figured I would.

Oh, and please review this time? I don't like sounding like a review whore, but I would like some idea if people are reading and if you like or dislike it. Even if it is "good chapter!" or "Uck, bad.".


	12. L is for

L is for...Leer

Post Serenity

Pairing: Jayne/River

Rating: T

* * *

He'd just been cleanin' his knives like any self respectin' man when she'd come in. When River walked in, swaying slightly like she did. Without sayin' a word, she just sat down across the room from him.

And watched him.

Sayin' nothin'.

He gave her one of his best 'scary looks' that woulda had most people runnin' away, yet she didn't do a gorram thing.

Just kept staring, and it was makin' him uncomfortable, the way she looked at him. He couldn't quite name the look, but it didn't feel exactly ... proper.

Mal walked into the room, ignoring them as he headed towards the kitchen. Jayne took a moment to glance away from the girl, but he was ready to look back if she grabbed a knife or somethin'.

"_Mal."_ he hissed. Mal just gave him a strange look. Jayne reached out to grab Mal's arm and pulled him over.

"What?" Mal demanded, annoyed.

_"_She's lookin' at me_," _He whispered, making a meaningful nod towards River, "It's creepy. I can't thin' of the word…"

"Leer." River broke in with her soft voice, "You want the 'leer'" she continued to 'leer' at him.

Mal patted him on the head, "Mind reader, Jayne, mind reader."

Jayne stood up, grabbing his five knives and hustling out of the room.

He needed to go find himself a dictionary.

* * *

Hmm, not one of my favorites. I've been meaning to write a River/Jayne one for quite some time, but I'm not so good with portraying things from Jayne's perspective. I might come back and edit this one later -- right now I'm being viciously harassed to go shopping. :(

Review and make me happy, again?


	13. M is for

M is for …Men.

Before BDM

Pairing: Zoe/Wash

Rating: T

This chapter is dedicated to my (only) three reviewers from the last chapter. You guys are literally the only reason I keep going on this story. Thank you Ultrawoman, SusanMarieS, and LHawk. The rest of you? Tsk Tsk, review!

* * *

Men. They were disgusting. Always looking for a lay. One second he'd be turning us over to the feds, the next he was grabbin' my boob.

I mean, really. What did he expect to happen? And why was it always me? Sure, I was the only woman there, but I'm the one carrying more guns and knives than the rest.

Well, I had no grenades, figured Jayne could hold up that end of the dealings.

I punched him and left. Captain didn't exactly approve.

"Zoe, you can't go punching out every guy who grabs at you."

"Yes, sir." I gave him a nasty look, and he flinched back a little. Men. Pfft.

I headed down the hall towards the kitchen, figurin' I might as take some of this anger off on one of those mystery cans we got floating around. I stomped into the room, and the doctor looked up,

"Did the mission go –oh." He was staring, and not at my face. "Uh, Zoe you have some, uh, dirt…" he pointed towards my breasts. I looked down to see that I did, in fact, have dirt, in the shape of a hand print, caked onto the front of my shirt.

Thief bosses, apparently, do not take the time to wash their hands before groping.

I brushed my shirt off, and did the kind thing and ignored Simon. Captain might not mind too much, me punching out the doctor, but I didn't really feel like hittin' something that'd cry.

Also, I'd have no one to patch up my hand after I smacked two people around. Punchin' hurt.

My higher standard lasted until Jayne walked by.

"You really can't blame 'em," Jayne commented, "I'd go for a touch if I wasn't so sure you'd shoot me."

"I wouldn't shoot you, Jayne," I told him in a falsely sweet voice. He took a step out of reach, "I'd just cut off all you're prized parts. Good gun men are real hard to find."

Jayne gulped.

Men.

I left the room and searched for a quieter place. I brushed off mosta the dirt, but some still clung to my shirt.

I found myself were I often find myself, in the cockpit with Wash. Luckily, both for himself and myself, he took one look at me and held his tongue.

I shut the door behind me, and sat down on the floor next to him. I rested my head on his knee and stared blankly at the underside of the steering console.

"I could go back and hit them with my ship?" he offered, hesitantly, after a few moments. I shook my head against his knee, and felt him relax. My man wasn't exactly what you'd call a "fighter".

He took the hand that I had used to punch the perv' and began to gently massage it. Careful not to hurt me. I suspect I was fighter enough for the both of us.

Men, I thought satisfied later that night, cuddled in my mans arms, weren't always so bad.

* * *

Just a few notes;

Zoe really isn't my strongest character, and I'm not quite sure I got her right. This bounced around my hard drive for a week so I could tweak it -- still not completely happy with it.. but when am I?

Next, **REVIEW PEOPLE.** Seriously, it makes me sad when only a few people review but my hit count is in the hundreds. Maybe those three reviewers clicked on it a 40 some times each, but I doubt it. (If you did, you guys are either epically awesome or sorta creepy.)

As added incentive, quite a few reviewers ask to see certain pairings. While I can't always make the next chapter that particular pairing, I will make a serious effort to give you that pairing some time soon.

Just throwing that out there.

Oh, and for some information nobody really cares about except for me -- I'm getting my wisdom teeth yanked out of my mouth tomorrow. Wouldn't it be nice if people reviewed and distracted me from the pain I will be suffering? :)

Serenity Marie


	14. N is for

N is for Narcotics

Any time

No Pairing

"And then she said 'not the grenade, the bulldog!'"

I laughed. Harder than I had laughed in years, it started and I couldn't stop. Why didn't I like Jayne better? Jayne was awesome.

My head swam from lack of oxygen, and I remembered to take a breath. Why did I feel so weird? There must be something wrong with me, my hands felt like they were three sizes larger and my head four sizes smaller.

"You're alright, Doctor, ya know? Just gotta loosen you up some" Jayne thumped my back and I felt myself tipping over. I was already sitting on the floor, and it wasn't until my cheek hit the floor that I realized I had gone all the way over.

The laughter blurted out again and I rolled over on my back. By the time my eyes opened again – it felt like a millennium or two, the view had changed.

The Captain was looking down at me.

"Didn't that fancy schooling teach you nuttin' about narcotics? Never accept baked goods from Jayne."

The laughter seemed to make the ship shake around me.

* * *

So, hey... this is awkward. I haven't updated in, what? Two years?

Yeah. About that...

Okay, okay. I'm alive! And well (mostly). Some wonderful and beautiful person recently reviewed and it reminded me that a) this story exists and b) I like writing.

So this chapter is meh, but I'm trying to get the feel for this story again. And I think a high Simon would be high-larious. (Oh my god, the puns. Kill me now?)


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